dreamt of falling

it's the gravity of my situation. i'm so far from where i need to be and i'm running uphill- getting nowhere. it's another test of my faith, my heart and my soul. and i'm afraid i'm in contension for failing. it's times like these where you learn to keep expectations from growing too big and a happy smile on your face when inside you feel like screaming until you can't breathe. it's times like these when you look for God and He quietly hides, letting you count to ten and frantically search for Him before He emerges and finds you. it's times like these that i find myself doing what i don't want to do and wondering what's wrong with me. it's time like these that hit me with surprising regularity. and it's times like these where i thank God for times like these, for the oppourtunity to let His strength be perfected in my weakness. to find myself lost then found by His mercy- i feel the shift of gravity from my situtation to His love.