the awful grace of God

"aw·ful" function: adjective date: 13th century meaning: inspiring awe



"day by day and hour by hour

pain drips apon the heart

as, against our will, and even in our own despite

comes wisdom from the awful grace of God" - Aeschylus



i came across this quote while reading "the handbook of christian apologetics". i was struck by the beauty of this ancient statement and it required of me that i write something on God's grace. After all, i view where i am only in the perspective of one who would not be alive if not for grace.

if someone was to ask me what {not who- if its who then my reply is "my wife"} my greatest inspiration is - i would reply "grace". God's awful grace inspires me everyday. Don't forget: by awful i and aeschylus are refering to the definition above and not the modern meaning.

grace by its very nature is all at once beautiful yet demanding. it offers freedom while requiring self control. Paul says (and i paraphrase from several Bible verses) "what then now? should we keep sinning because of the grace offered to us? no! sin should not be your master because we are no longer under law, but under grace." but i, the human i am, still take advantage of grace.

this should come as no surprise. for "where sin abounds, grace abounds so much more." when i take advantage of grace i need grace to rescue me from my taking advantage of grace! but i am diverting from the main point i want to make...

what is "wisdom from the awful grace of God"? the answer is too long so i'll attempt to condense it slightly. we first must define the "pain that drips apon our heart". the death of a friend or the hurt of a broken relationship. the medical condition that keeps one in bed or a twisted ankle. these are all pains that we feel- emotionally and physically. these pains are ones we try to avoid, try to fight off but cannot. this is where grace thrives.

grace thrives in our discontent. it thrives where our pain is the deepest. it longs for our tears. grace is more than comfort. it's God's strength when we can't move an inch further. grace's wisdom teaches us that when we have arrived at the very end of our rope and cannot hang on-the moment we let go is the moment we find the hands of God. the wisdom of grace is found when we wake up in the morning and have breath in our lungs. when we can't find the money for dinner but the food is still there; when we are fighting a hundred illnesses and can still smile. grace is not a fluffy concoction for luke-warm wannabes: it's a tangible substance of God's unfailing love that is freely offered "even in our own despite" to us without reserve. i hope we can each day discover the awful grace of God.